It's hard to say the right things ( not GT)

[stech81]

After being married for 43 years I still find it how to say the right answer when she ask for one.

Examples
1) her- is my butt to big? Me - no I like big butts.
2) her- then do you think I'm fat? Me- no if you were fat your boobs would be bigger.
3) her- did you like dinner tonight? Me- what was it ?
4) her - ( next night) well did you like dinner tonight? me- it was ok , how about I take you out to eat tomorrow night?
5) her - you don't like my sister much do you? Me - I don't like a lot of people I guess she not on the bottom of the list close but not on the bottom.
6) her - do you think I talk too much ? Me - shhh I'm watching TV.
Not sure it's me or maybe she just don't understand me.

 

[Buzzforlife]

You have given me the insight of what might have led to my divorce:
She: Do you want to go to the opera on Saturday night? Me: We only have 6 home games per year in this sport(back in 1990). The road games are our mini-vacations. Her: Yes, but you have 16 basketball games, 30 baseball games and your softball season. Plus Braves Baseball and your second job. Me: Allright let's compromise, I'll resign the job.

She: You want a child, although I have 30 of them during the day. Me: Think about it, you won't have to go to so many games. A reason for you to stay home and change diapers. Then later, you get a promotion, I take the child to all the games. Her: Some help you are. Me: See, I told you I believe in traditional roles.

She: I need new shoes, the pair I want cost 100$. Me: What happened to the other 11 pair from earlier this year? Her: I exchanged some for a new skirt. Me: Is that beyond a return, because I mostly see you in blouses and jeans or pants. She: You don't understand a woman, we need clothes and shoes-can't survive on a weeks worth like you do. Me: Does that mean Santa won't get me a new pair of socks to go with my other 6?

She: You eat too much meat. Why not more salads and vegetables in your diet? Me: God made me into a man, not a rabbit or a garden grazing rat. She: The trash is getting smelley and the bathroom sink needs to be changed out. That 10$ one from the WalMart clearance aisle never gave enough water pressure. Me: So fold the bag over the trash can or cover it with the next bag up. Use the kitchen sink faucet or the one in the other bathroom.

She: Can you stop at a store and get me some more blonde coloring? Me: You already have that color on your scalp without any gray hair. She: You can never understand, this highlights it and makes it darker. Me: I like it lighter, like you are in the sun a lot. She: You are just cheap. Typical man! Me: Thank you...and I call it being thrifty.

 

[Buzzforlife]

She: Why do you eat for three meals when going to Ryan's Buffet? Me: Simple, it is like insurance. They are betting that you don't need it. You have to have coverage. She: That is being cheap and bad for your health. Me: That's why the Atkins Diet was invented for men. You can take the weight back off and eat nothing but meat.

As I think back, I was a pioneer for the show, "Naked and Afraid". Look how thrilled they are to find protein and be carnivorous!

 

[stech81]

Her- look I saved you 30 percent buying this today. Me-you could have saved my $150 not buying it.
Her - this is what a want for Mother's Day . Me why are you telling me your not my mother .

 

[GTJT622]

Her - how does this look on me?
Me - you know I know nothing about fashion
Her - well, neither do I
Me - it looks good then

 

[GTJT622]

Her - what time are you wanting to leave for dinner?
Me - I was hoping by 5:30
Her - I'll never be ready by then
Me - what time will you be ready?
Her - I have no idea
Me - then, what the hell did you ask me what time I wanted to leave for?

 

[stech81]

Her - what time are you wanting to leave for dinner?
Me - I was hoping by 5:30
Her - I'll never be ready by then
Me - what time will you be ready?
Her - I have no idea
Me - then, what the hell did you ask me what time I wanted to leave for?

This is us also and to pick a place is a joke

 

[SPRITE6]

This is us also and to pick a place is a joke

This is us also and to pick a place is a joke

There is a diner in Highland Home , Alabama named "It Don't Matter". It's always crowded.

 

[GTJT622]

Me - where do you want to go to dinner?
Her - I don't care. Anything is fine with me.
Me - OK, let's go to Applebee's.
Her - we haven't been to (name a restaurant) in a while.
Me - is that where you want to go?
Her - works for me

(and I think to myself...why the hell didn't you just answer with that after my first question?)

Btw, I was and am perfectly fine with where she wanted to go. Why does it take us an exchange of 6 when it could've been done in 2?

I know I'm not alone that after waiting forever, by the time she's in the car and we're "discussing" where we are going to go, I'm so tickled the waiting process is over that she could say "let's go to Big Ed's Racoon's Anus Buffet" and I'd probably say "works for me".

 

[Buzzforlife]

Meanwhile, they eat so slow, you've missed the first half of the 7:30 p.m. game and the clean-up crew looks at you while they have a broom under your feet. The cleaning product used on the next table also smells of bleach to make you want to regurgitate the food you consumed expediently, in a rare attempt to see the first pitch or the kickoff or the tipoff.

 

[GTJT622]

I once had a guy tell me if I wanted to leave for dinner at 5:30 to tell her to be ready by 5:00 thinking the extra 30 minutes she's "late" will still meet my desired departure time. I knew right then and there the guy wasn't married and had never been married. At least, not to a woman. And, he should not be giving advice on something he knows nothing about.

It never works that way. It's almost as bad as the dumb-A male without a medical degree who is telling a woman about how child birth should go. Dude, shut the F up. We are better at things like peeing our name in the snow or reading maps. Child birth is their area of expertise. Leave it to them. You're making us all look bad. When your wife pees her name in the snow better than you do, then you are free to give her advice about child birth. Until then, shut up.

HARUMPH!

 

[Buzzforlife]

Please don't take any of this the wrong way, Mrs. Melanie(not you at all!)......
You see us as projects you can 'fix.'
You meet us. You like us. You date us. You marry us. And somewhere along the way it might seem that you love us just as we are, but rarely does it work out that way. Women see potential. They see rough edges, and they want to sand them off. This makes us crazy. We don’t want to change. We have chosen our car, hair, friends, home and hobbies because we enjoy them. The knowledge that you are thinking, “If he could only...” is a deeply disturbing thought, and perhaps more sinister is the idea that this behavior is so common that even if you aren’t the kind of woman who wants change, we expect that you do and are only biding your time.